A little over a week ago, I was having a conversation with my best friend over a glass of wine and out of nowhere, my left boob started to leak right through my shirt. It was embarrassing but thankfully she was a mom so she definitely understood. My son was spending the night with my parents so here I was trying to enjoy a moment away but all my body wanted to do was be next to him.
The conversation immediately shifted and we began talking about weaning and how to stop breastfeeding. She asked me how it was going and I admitted that it was going ok but not as well as it should. Truthfully, I was being a bit hesitant to fully wean him because I didn’t want to lose that bond. She laughed and said, “Girl, you’ll have other bonds!”
She’s right. But why is it so hard to let go?
Learning How to Stop Breastfeeding Is Hard
I gave myself until his first birthday as my initial end date. Well, that day has come and gone and I’m still making excuses. One excuse being that he might be allergic to dairy so I told myself I would wait until after his 12-month checkup. Again, that date has come and gone and his pediatrician gave me the ok to try cow’s milk, cheeses, and yogurts. So what am I waiting on?
If I’m being completely honest, I didn’t realize how hard it would be to make sure he was getting the proper nutrients from solid foods. It was easy for me to pop a boob in his mouth and know that he was good. But now, cooking nutritious meals that he will actually eat is tough. Especially when all he wants to eat is French fries.
There are times when he’ll eat the meals I’ve prepared without a problem and then all of a sudden he hates the food and it gets thrown to the floor. I’ll give him cow’s milk or almond milk in a sippy cup but then he gets extremely fussy and the only resolution is the boob.
It’s frustrating because I know he’s fine without being breastfed because when he stays with grandparents, he’s fed solids and barely drinks the milk that I’ve left behind. He’s only fussy because I’m around.
I want to imagine all of the other bonds that we’ll have and how freeing it will be to not be nursing but all of those hopes are drowned out right now by his cries and tugs on my shirt for the boob. I’m taking this weaning thing day by day, one reduced feeding at a time. But it’s tough.
Y’all pray for me!
Lead image by Pixabay